To alchemize your life and live your most joyous, expressed, fulfilling existence, you have to discover, take and give your own medicine. This is not always an easy task. We are bombarded by all kinds of outside, often conflicting messages. We have swallowed and internalized a million stories, beliefs and ideas about what’s healing and helpful. There are a thousand modalities, healers, spiritual practices, teachers and coaches we can work with.

Discovering your own medicine requires trying different things to begin to differentiate what is part of your unique medicine and what is not. It takes time and patience to truly listen to your own unique call and whisper; to discover different ways of being with yourself, holding yourself, healing, transforming.

Finding your own medicine requires persistence, commitment, patience, deep listening, rising and falling. You have to be open to learning, trying, getting it wrong, trying again. You have to let go of unworthiness. You have to let go of right and wrong. You have to cultivate self-trust and a moment to moment listening.

What causes healing and transformation for you may be entirely different than for someone else. Though a friend, partner or healer may have had great results with a certain healing modality, experience, practice, you have to inquire inside, “do I inherently feel a yes to this?” No matter what you try and discover, you have to cultivate a deep listening, outside of the many messages you’ve been taught or swallowed. Only you know the answer and you have to learn to TRUST your own unique inner guidance system. Because there is no one “right” operating system or belief system.

No matter what anyone says, there is no inherent truth about what is healing and transformative and why things happen the way they do. That is simply the human egoic mind trying to make sense of and feel control over the messy and unpredictable experience of being human. In my experience, trying to do it a way that isn’t true to me causes constriction, fear, depression and deadness. Even if a million other people have gotten results, if I try something on that is not for me, not only will my system repel it like the plague, it will actually begin to eat me alive and lead to a gaping hole where my aliveness, love, and vitality once was.

Since I was very young, I have been inherently dedicated to the truth. And, I also suffered big time because I lived with a sense of right and wrong, that if I could only find the one answer, then I would be free and have the life I truly desire. Clearly, there’s not one answer and, in my case, life wouldn’t let me rest on one modality or spiritual practice. I always felt like I didn’t belong or had it harder than most. I always envied those people who had found their spiritual practice, their teacher, that one healing modality that was it.

I felt like an outsider and a fake. I tortured myself with a gnawing sense that I was doing something wrong, that I was wrong for not having figured it out. I was suffering because I was looking outside myself, wanting to be like all the others and wanting to find that one thing that would finally bring relief.

Surely, I should be able to find my exact medicine in the thousands of things I have tried. Thank goodness, I didn’t find it. Because, these last 20+ years of soul-searching and conflict led me deeper into the TRUTH for me.

It led me to discovering my own medicine, which is not one specific medicine, but a deeper acceptance, love and comfort with the many tools, skills, ways of being and healing, that I can draw upon moment to moment. It is the medicine that works for me, outside of anybody else’s belief or story about it.

Working with your own medicine once you know it, trust it and find it is a true ART! Freedom lies in the direct experience of finding and knowing your own medicine.

Your medicine is: the only medicine for you, the only medicine that will bring true relief and comfort. And your own medicine is the only medicine that will lead to a turned on, meaningful life. And, lead to your true purpose and calling. Because only when we know what our unique medicine is and take it ourselves can we offer our medicine to others. And, we all need each other’s medicine.

That is part of the journey of being human, part of the journey of healing, growth and transformation. We take another’s medicine, their unique gifts, for a time, and this helps us to find our own. Especially when they are in service of supporting us to find and discover our own unique medicine. Following and trusting our own unique moment to moment rhythms, passions and desires. This is the heart of what I do with clients. I help you find your own unique medicine. I help you to go into the deep waters of your being, marinate in and curate your own healing medicine. And then, help you offer it to others. Because like I said before, the only way we can truly alchemize our lives, the only way can truly feel turned on at every level of your being is to know, take and give your own medicine.